Does art imitate life or does life imitate art? I don’t know if ya’ll follow the news, but some people just can’t stay out of trouble. And it seems like the wealthier and more connected they are, the more ruckus they cause.
The song “Ty’s Son” paints a hypothetical future world where all resources are controlled by a handful of robber barrons. The story follows our main character who just finds out he’s been let go from the chicken mine (in the future, chickens are mined just like lithium) because the company ran out of money paying for the boss’ son’s legal fees. Despite our main character ready to move on with their life, the boss’ son just won’t stop pounding on the door, as he’s looking for a place to sleep off several tall boys.
“That boy he ain’t no good, that family is full of chicken grease.”
Lyrics
Well, I don’t mean to sulk or whine
But I just got off that telephone line
And it seems like that chicken mine
Don’t need me anymore
Well, I wouldn’t be so sour
But for the last damn hour
The boss’ son’s been banging on my door
Well, I sure don’t care ’bout nuthin’
Except for all this fussin’
I sure as hell can’t take it anymore
But that boy he ain’t no good
That family’s full of chicken grease
So I shut my eyes
And go on back to sleep
Well, not to sound so snooty
I say I’ve done my duty
But I’m the one who’s
Kicked out to the curb
While he’s drunk behind the wheel
Fixin’ for a deal
A silver spoon of privilege as a verb
His daddy bails him out again
For drunken shenanigans
You’ve never seen a story so absurd
But that boy he ain’t no good
That family’s full of chicken grease
So I shut my eyes
And go on back to sleep
Well, that banging seemed to stop
Right around then 10 o’clock
Those tall boys
Knocked his ass out on my lawn
I’ve had all I can bear
When I say it isn’t fair
This bozo’s here
But I’m the one who’s gone
So I get back on that line
With that evil chicken mine
When they ask, I’m doing fine
Sure fucking better than Ty’s Son
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FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — Just a year and a half after pleading guilty to public intoxication when he was found in a stranger’s bed, John Tyson, the Chief Financial Officer (CFO) for Tyson Foods has been arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated.
Court records state Tyson, 34, was arrested by the University of Arkansas Police Department (UAPD) around 1:30 a.m. on June 13, and booked under charges of driving under the influence, careless driving, and improperly making a U-turn.
After his last arrest, Tyson Foods released a statement confirming John Tyson had been “suspended from his duties effective immediately,” and Curt Calaway was named as an interim CFO. Currently, John R. Tyson is listed as the current CFO.
A report from UAPD says that around 12:45 a.m. on June 13, an officer was monitoring the intersection of Maple Street and Leverett Avenue when they observed an SUV that appeared to be going over the speed limit before making an improper turn and striking a curb.
A traffic stop was initiated, and the officer smelled a “strong odor of intoxicants,” according to the report. Tyson allegedly had bloodshot and watery eyes. He told officers that he was coming from his sister’s wedding.
The report says that Tyson told police “If I get into trouble tonight and go to bed it will ruin the rest of my life.”
Tyson told police that he didn’t have anything to drink at the wedding. His passenger, a woman, told officers that Tyson did have multiple drinks. When later asked where the two went, the passenger told police “where did we go, where did we not go.”
When the officer asked Tyson if he would perform field sobriety tests, Tyson replied that it “would literally ruin his life,” the report said.
Tyson eventually agreed to perform the sobriety tests. Once completed, he informed the officer that he had about six or seven drinks after about 5 or 6 p.m. He then advised the officer that his sister’s wedding was not until the upcoming weekend, and that he had actually come from Dickson Street.
“Based upon Mr. Tyson’s manner of driving, my observation and his performance on the tests I deemed him unfit to safely operate a motor vehicle and placed him under arrest for driving while intoxicated,” the report said.
After being transported to the Washington County Sheriff’s Office, Tyson consented to a chemical breath test, which provided a final result of .191 blood alcohol concentration at 1:57 a.m., the report said.
The report adds that Tyson’s license was seized, and he was issued a temporary license.
In 2023, John Tyson pleaded guilty to charges stemming from an arrest in November 2022 after he was found asleep in a stranger’s bed in Fayetteville. Those charges reportedly resulted in a $150 fine per charge and $140 in court fees.